Hope for Life

Cry Me a River

Had my bone marrow biopsy done today by a medical officer and the one helping him is a male nurse. Male nurse seems to be very impatient and doing things in a rush. MO seems to be very rush for time and saying that the male nurse is not being efficient enough.


This is how the procedure is supposed to be like...

So 2 very impatient person was assigned to do a very unpleasant bone marrow biopsy for me. Great. Honestly, I would prefer a female nurse because they are really much more considerate and would really hold your hand to console you. The male nurse just hold me down like some kinda prisoner.

First the anesthetic. MO asked me if he should give me 10ml of anesthetic or 15ml. I wish he could make up his mind on this. I jerked when he was about to give me the injection. In no way was I trying to not cooperate, but that is a very normal physical reaction. I was scared and it was ticklish... The MO told me to stop moving, saying I almost made him prick his finger... Anyway, he gave me 10ml of anesthetic and for some reason, he had to describe the whole procedure to me, telling me that he is giving me an injection now, the needle has now reached my bone and he is injecting the anesthetic.

I was freaking out by now. Though this was not my first bone marrow biopsy, I was still really afraid. The last BMB done by Yvonne was pleasantly smooth because she and the nurse was chatting with me throughout, talking about the other MO who was my JC classmate. But this MO... all he talked to me about is how the needle is now at my bone and that because I seems to have a low pain threshold, he is going to give me a SECOND anesthetic injection, which the first already hurt like crap. I wonder why don't he just give me 15ml and get it over with the first time.

Then, he had to go on and tell me that he will start drilling into my bone and I will feel the grinding.... Good job, doc! You successfully freaked your patient out big time! Tears just rolled out of my eyes uncontrollably, not just because of the pain from this dreadful procedure, but also because I am starting to feel sorry for the state I am in. I just kept crying. Non stop. I couldn't control myself because I was in such a state of pain, fear and discomfort that I couldn't help my self pity.

And I cried. From the MO's, "I am now going to do the biopsy, you'll feel the suction," to the, "okay, now the biopsy, just hang in there alright?" I was crying throughout.

It is such a wussy incident, cos I remember the auntie and Carol, my room mate in the ward, both had their BMB done without making a sound. But then again, Carol's BMB was done by Yvonne and the auntie's BMB was done by my friend MO... who was quite a nice chap.

Sigh, I am not trying to complain about the MO. But sometimes I guess Singapore system is such that you have so many patients till you become oblivious to the pain and fear a patient go through.

And after that, I had chemo. It was such a terrible experience because all I wanted to do at that point of time was to go home and rest. And then the nurse came to set my needle port. Failed the first time cos my vein decides to be naughty and wiggle away. T_T

So it is really a painful monday. The next time I have BMB, I will really request my doctor to do it for me. Cos I know she is prone to talking crap while doing BMB, she can make the whole atmosphere more relax for me. ANd no more male nurses for BMB please! D:

posted by Fay @ 2:00 AM