Hope for Life

Constant Cravings

Wednesday was a really sad day. My backache took a turn for the worse and I can't bend down to pick things up. At one point, I cant even brush my teeth properly cos I cannot bend my back. Sad thing number 1.

Sad thing number 2. I booked 2 tickets for a romantic Bintan trip with my partner at Nirwana Hotel Resort for my birthday. 3 hours after I booked my tickets and paid it with my credit card, my mum told me that my dad forbids me to go to Bintan.
You dunno how heart broken I was. I had not been on any overseas trip since the year I was disgnosed (2006) and now I can't even go for a really short trip to celebrate my birthday. :(

Felt really depressed and my mood came to an all time low this morning (Thursday) when I woke up with the pain in my back, showing no signs of it getting better.

Took urgent leave and went to see my doc, Yvonne at SGH. Had my blood taken and after 2 hours of waiting, I finally get to see her. She said the back pain was most probably not caused by the chemo or the neulastin shot. Kinda suspected it was the push ups I did on Sunday that led to this torture. All I did was six.... SIX miserable push ups! And to think I used to be a sports person in combine school team. Sigh

Anyway, my "depression" was short lived as I get over things relatively fast. Plus my friend offered an "alternative" to my birthday trip, that is to go Natsu Matsuri!!!

Natsu Matsuri is an annual summer festival organised by Japanese Association and held at Japanese School at Tanah Merah. In Japan, it is a tradition for the Japanese to celebrate summer with a Natsu Matsuri, which has lotsa food and games and at the end of it, fireworks.
Here at Natsu Matsuri Singapore, we also have lotsa food and games and dancing, only thing missing is the fireworks. Most people going for Natsu Matsuri will be going in yukata and you will really feel like you're in Japan when you are at the festival! You will also get to see a lot of cute little Japanese kids! It's a wonderful event. :)



Also, my mood got better after receiving an email from Josef (Molly's Hubby) telling me that a reader from Molly's blog would like to fulfill my birthday wish by giving me a magic pill to cure my leukemia!!.... Ok, I am kidding, Josef's friend, Serene, would like to gimme Lance Armstrong's Live Strong wristband for my birthday!



The same wrist band I had been finding high and low for! I am really grateful to Serene. And it is not just an extra wrist band that she is giving me, but the only one she owned, which was given to her by a friend to cheer her up. She is giving such a precious thing.... to me.. It really made my day. Really, really. There is so much love around. One can only see it if we open our hearts. I am really grateful. :)
Thank you Serene! Thank you so much!! And thank you Josef too. :)

And since this post SHOULD BE about Constant Craving, lemme talk about all the cravings I had after chemo. Sometimes I feel that chemo gives me the same effect as when one is pregnant (as told to me by my mum, not that I'd ever been pregnant before). I constantly craved for all sorts of food. First round was soup and SHARKS FIN (ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!), then second round I had craving for Japanese tonkatsu, and now, I have constant cravings for german sausages and gummies!! It does not help that my ang moh colleague sitting beside me keep tempting me with the gummies his aunt got for him from Denmark. Yummy yummy gummies!!



So this Saturday, after my CT scan, I am going to Candy Empire to stock up my gummies. Gosh. I am so craving for gummies now. Just like my nephew. Hehe.

Well, I guess after this episode of sudden depression, I should prep myself more emotionally for any other strange incidents to come.

After all, life's a bitch.
Tame it.

posted by Fay @ 2:25 AM